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    Copyright © 2015 unruly


    Boring to hear someone cry “wah wah wah” about a head cold, I know, but that’s what I’m doing anyway. Nearly ten days of illness is too damn much and while I’m doing my best to soldier on bravely, the brain it braineth not. So I will be true to my chromosomes and get all girly on you by getting all hyperventilate-y about shoes. Because … well … shoes! What’s not to love about shoes? Especially shoes cooked up in fevered dreams, kind of like the ones I’ve been having.

    Plus, I will give you an awesome poem.

    The Empty Dance Shoes
    by Cornelius Eady

    My friends,
    As it has been proven in the laboratory,
    An empty pair of dance shoes
    Will sit on the floor like a wart
    Until it is given a reason to move.

    Those of us who study inertia
    (Those of us covered with wild hair and sleep)
    Can state this without fear:
    The energy in a pair of shoes at rest
    Is about the same as that of a clown

    Knocked flat by a sandbag.
    This you can tell your friends with certainty:
    A clown, flat on his back,
    Is a lot like an empty pair of
    dancing shoes.

    An empty pair of dancing shoes
    Is also a lot like a leaf
    Pressed in a book.
    And now you know a simple truth:
    A leaf pressed in, say, The Colossus
    by Sylvia Plath,
    Is no different from an empty pair of dance shoes

    Even if those shoes are in the middle of the Stardust Ballroom
    With all the lights on, and hot music shakes the windows
    up and down the block.
    This is the secret of inertia:
    The shoes run on their own sense of the world.
    They are in sympathy with the rock the kid skips
    over the lake
    After it settles to the mud.
    Not with the ripples,
    But with the rock.

    A practical and personal application of inertia
    Can be found in the question:
    Whose Turn Is It
    To Take Out The Garbage?
    An empty pair of dance shoes
    Is a lot like the answer to this question,
    As well as book-length poems
    Set in the Midwest.

    To sum up:
    An empty pair of dance shoes
    Is a lot like the sand the 98-pound weakling
    brushes from his cheeks
    As the bully tows away his girlfriend.

    When he spies the coupon at the back of the comic book,
    He is about to act upon a different set of scientific principles.
    He is ready to dance.

    Atlantis shoes by Alexander McQueen
    Shoes from Alexander McQueen's "Plato's Atlantis" collection, Spring 2010, MSN Lifestyle
    Shoes from Alexander McQueen's "Plato's Atlantis" collection, Spring 2010, Graphik Addict
    Basia shoes
    Shoes by Basia Zarzycka
    Via Basia Zarzycka
    Noheelsshoe by Marloes ten Bhomer
    Noheelsshoe by Marloes ten Bhömer
    Via Marloestenbhömer
    tanssitossut (Dance Shoes) by Company, via com-pa-ny.com
    Tanssitossut (Dance Shoes) by Company
    Via Company
    tanssitossut (Dance Shoes) 2 by Company, via com-pa-ny.com
    Tanssitossut (Dance Shoes) by Company
    Via Company
    Marloes ten Bhömer in her studio
    Via Marloestenbhömer
    Raspberry Mojito via hakesassociates flickr
    Raspberry Mojito shoe by Julian Hakes
    Via Hakes Associates photostream on flickr
    Platypus shoes, via crappytaxidermy.com
    Platypus shoes, via Tanssitossut (Dance Shoes) by Company
    Via Crappy Taxidermy
    Paper shoes by Violise Lunn, via www.violiselunn.dk
    Paper shoes by Violise Lunn, via Violise Lunn
    TRITT shoes by Catherine Meuter, via www.catherinemeuter.ch
    EIN TRITT shoes by Catherine Meuter
    Via Catherine Meuter
    cook book stiletto by Jennifer Collier, via www.jennifercollier.co.uk
    Cook book stiletto by Jennifer Collier
    Via Jennifer Collier
    Cakefoot by Scott Hove, via www.mshove.com
    Cakefoot by Scott Hove
    Via Scott Hove
    winged by Michel Tcherevkoff,
    Shoes by Michel Tcherevkoff
    Via Michel Tcherevkoff
    pencil flip-flops by Lauren Milroy
    Pencil flip-flops by Lauren Milroy
    Via Lauren Milroy
    Stiefel by Andre Tempel, 2005
    Stiefel by André Tempel, 2005
    Via Galerie Diskus
    Hoof shoes by Iris Schieferstein via toxel
    Hoof shoes by Iris Schieferstein, via Tanssitossut (Dance Shoes) by Company
    Via Toxel
    Shoes by Marloes ten Bhömer
    Via Marloestenbhömer
    Rattan by Jan Jansen, 1973
    Rattan shoe by Jan Janset, 1973 Via Jan Jansen
    Vibram Five Fingers, via www.vibramfivefingers.com
    Vibram Five Fingers, via Vibram

    I freaking adore those Alexander Mc Queen shoes….. it was remarkable seeing the models navigate the runway in them and still look lithe. I wonder if that’s a silhouette that’s going to eventually get modified for the mainstream market in the next 5 years? And those Julian Hakes shoes are totally awesome & trippy, but the Vibrams freak me out for some reason.

    I remember Stuart Weitzman used to do really interesting installations of “art shoes” in their shop windows, but now it’s all just boring satin pumps.

    Annie Stuart added these words on Oct 13 09 at 2:43 pm

    I love the McQueens too and would wear a modifiied version in a heartbeat. And I swear, if I didn’t have to be a responsible adult and not waste my kids’ milk money, I’d be buying a pair of the blue Marloes ten Bhömer’s. They rock my universe, those shoes.

    Katy added these words on Oct 13 09 at 2:53 pm

    i watched the video of the mcqueen stuff that annie posted last week. it’s seriously only a matter of time before footbinding comes around again, man. (speaking of which, where are the lotus shoes, dude?)

    additionally, i do NOT want to think about what people are doing when they’re wearing those hoof booties (although now the possibilities are burned into my already-scarred mind, dammit) and the toe sandles should be illegal. shoes are for covering your nastyass feet, not remodeling them into something even MORE freaky. (it will not surprise you to learn that the hobbits freak.me.out. bahaa.)

    rache added these words on Oct 14 09 at 11:26 am

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