I don’t know why I always want to know “why” but I do. Even when the answer to “why?” is “because” or “dunno” or “what’s it to ya, mofo?” Even then, I still wanna know. Why, I wonder. Why am I like that? Dunno, really. Because, I guess. What’s it to ya anyway, mofo?
So there’s that — a love of and need for explanation and the structure that explanation confers. And then there’s the whole liking definitions thing — the desire to rope and corral meaning is very strong in me.
At the same time, I am heart-poundingly attracted to and moved by chaos. The derangements of Francis Bacon’s studio shiver me up beyond belief. I love stream-of-consciousness writing, love James Joyce and all his wild looping language play. I read a blog kept by a Korean artist who writes in English, which is not her first language. Her tiny strange observations are very beautiful and made more so by the flaws in her English, a lot more so, I think, because those flaws can be very illuminatory — that skewing of language can make you look at a thing from a whole different perspective. I love that, more than I can properly tell you.
So there’s that, too. That oppositional thing, that dichotomous thing. I can make two statements. I am making them:
1-I love architecture.
2-I love forest and lake.
I can also say this:
1-I am near-sighted in one eye.
2-I am far-sighted in the other.
3-I pronate (roll in) with one foot.
4-I supinate (roll out) with the other.
I am all brokeny and at war with myself in my body. My brain is for sure like that. I have ego at play, lots and plenty, but id at play, just as much. Often the two things hammer away at one another, brawling to see who will be top dog.
I am a practical, pragmatic, organised woman but my head is also full of poetry and music and metaphor. I think in metaphor, almost entirely, even when I think about simple or mundane things.
I am very loved up by those facts, would not change any of them, for true, because I value both sides of my coin, I do.
And I am very much interested in and attracted to artwork that gives expression to those beautiful conflicts. Which brings me to the joy and recognition I feel when I look at Ghadah Alkandari’s notey
/ doodley things
. They are such perfect expressions of the oppositionality I am trying to describe. Look at them! They are replete with practicality and also deliciously suffused with a vivid lucid dreaming. The ego overlaid with the id.
Here’s one last thing I can tell you:
I am crazy in love with the did of id.
And if you have notey doodley things that you think might give me the big yums, please don’t hesitate to be in touch. See Contact in the sidebar for how to reach me.